What Can Possibly Go Wrong For Kaiba
by Mizukichan0001
Summary: It all started when Mokuba couldn't find the milk. Kaiba ends up in Texas with a crazy gay truck driver, And why is everyone in the in city in the Kaiba Dome? To watch Kaiba suffer on the big screen of course. Full summary inside. plz review.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first fic. Please Review!

There may be many mistakes because I don't have spell check.

By the way if there are misspelled words when Earl is talking they are suppose to be like that... I was trying to make it as though he sounded southern...

There are no pairings yet unless you want couples in here and I'll try to figure out how they will get together. Anything but Yuri. srry just not a fan of yuri.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Rating: M for language, drinking, drug use, (for later chapters) attempt rape, sexual situations.

Summery: It all started when Mokuba couldn't find the milk. Kaiba ends up in Texas with a crazy gay truck driver, And why is everyone in the in city in the Kaiba Dome? To watch Kaiba suffer on the big screen of course. Who planned all this you might think it's Mokuba, but he's just following orders. Possible Yaoi. NO LEMON!

chapter 1

It's Early in the morning (around 6:30 to be exact) and the Kaiba brothers are eating breakfast until Mokuba looked in the fridge and couldn't find the milk.

"Damn" Mokuba searched in the fridge. "What now" Kaiba was obviously annoyed. "Seto Were out of milk. Take me to the store please" Mokuba whined.

But how I just bought some yesterday?" Kaiba looked his brother. "Never mind how there isn't any milk I just NEEEEED MILK Seto. Please just take me to the store and get some more" Mokuba cried out.

"Fine lets take my my Super Awesome Blue Eyes White Dragon Aircraft thingy and lets go" Kaiba said as he grabbed his keys and headed out the door.

When they got to the store there were some minor difficulties "Shit I can't find a damn parking space" Kaiba growled

"Well you can just drop me off here and-"

"No I will find a parking space no matter- Ah here's a spot" Kaiba landed the jet. "Yeah but the only problem is that we live closer to the store than where we parked" Mokuba gave his most intense glare towards his brother only to look like a sad puppy.

"Shut up Mokuba. Just go and, oh here's the jet pack" Kaiba strapped Mokuba to the jet pack and gave him a list.

"But big brother I-" Before Mokuba could finish Kaiba threw him up in the air like a volleyball. "DAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM IIIIITTTTT" and that was the last thing Kaiba heard. So he grabbed his favorite porn magazine and began to flip through it.

Meanwhile at the store Mokuba crashed into everything in sight. He tried to avoid everyone but that didn't work out to well.

By the time he left the place looked like it got hit by a hurricane. Mokuba got back to the aircraft about 6 1/2 hours later after he took a couple detours.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Mokuba crashed into the wind shield and slid to the ground. "Here Seto I saved the milk" Mokuba said waving the milk around.

"Damnit Mokuba I don't care about the milk. Is the jet pack alright" Kaiba yelled. "What I got the milk, and all you can think about is that jet pack even though we have 20 more at home" Mokuba was now fuming.

"Well yes, but you forgot the cereal you dumb-ass" Kaiba took the milk in disgust. "What you didn't say anything about cereal, Seto don't walk away from me when I'm talking" Mokuba grabbed his brother's arm.

Seto grinned evilly then said "I didn't have to I wrote everything down in that list I gave you." Then Kaiba walked towards his scared to death little brother.

"Oh no. Don't you think about-"Bit it was to late, Kaiba strapped another jet pack and threw Mokuba in the sky.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH" Mokuba flew farther and farther away. Mokuba came back to the aircraft around 6 hours later at around 6:30 PM. looking exhausted.

Kaiba sat in the aircraft the entire time and was seriously pissed he missed breakfast, lunch and now dinner just to get a carton of milk and a box of cereal.

"So wheres the cereal?" Kaiba asked glaring at Mokuba. "Right here" Mokuba waved a box of 'Special K' cereal. The elder of the two looked at the box Kaiba didn't look to happy.

In Kaiba's mind...

_Special K... Wait a minute isn't that a type of diet cereal. What happen to the Coco puffs I wanted. What the fuck possessed that brat to get me a Diet cereal of all things. _

_Am I getting fat or something... Well I did eat a lot during the holidays but I didn't gain that much weight. Did I? _

_Oh look a penny... Wait that's not important... But it's such a shiny penny and money shouldn't be wasted._

_No, no the penny is not important. What's important right now is the fact that my brother thinks that I'm fat._

_I Mean I still make people's heads turn when I walk past them. Or is it because they're looking at my enlarged ass. _

Back in reality...

Kaiba snapped out of his train of thought and glared daggers into his brothers soul. If looks could kill Mokuba would be dead.

"That's not what I wanted. I wanted Coco Puffs. The crap that is in your arms is a DIET cereal" Kaiba glared at the box. "Well... I thought that's what you wanted since... since you've been watching what you eat lately and I thought you liked Special K Since..." Mokuba explained.

Kaiba stopped paying attention after Mokuba said "watching what you eat" and just glared at Mokuba. "So what" You think I'm fat or something" Kaiba was being irrational.

'No, no it's-" Mokuba was cut off.

"Or what? Do these pants make my ass look big, or am I getting a double chin" Kaiba whined in an almost gay voice.

Then that shiny penny ought Kaiba's eye again. He couldn't help himself he just had to pick it up. No money should go to waste. Then he looked back at Mokuba waiting for him to continue.

"No, no you have a nice body. In fact I think you're HOT!" Mokuba didn't think before he spoke. All Kaiba could do was stand there and stare at his brother. Kaiba's face was growing redder by the second.

It was then Mokuba realized what he said and his face turned bright red. "No, no Seto, I didn't mean it like that. I... I Mean I'm not insist. I just wasn't thinking earlier... It just slipped out. Hey come back Seto" Mokuba's face became an even darker shade of red.

Kaiba was running at full sprint to the air craft and locked his brother out. ""Um go get me Coco Puffs and if they don't have that then get me something else that isn't a diet cereal."

That's when Mokuba lost it. He was so sick of hearing his brother bitch and moan about every mistake Mokuba made.

So he took the broken jet pack and smashed the side window. "Oh don't worry big brother I'll give you your cereal" Mokuba dumped the box of cereal on Kaiba. "And let's not forget the milk" and proceeded to poor the milk on the elder brother.

"Mokuba looked in the back and saw a rope, And got an evil look in his eyes. Before Kaiba knew what was happening Mokuba tied him up in the back seat and flew the air craft.

"Let me go dammit or I'll make sure you suffer for all eternity By the might of Ra you shall pay for the torture you put me through" Kaiba struggled trying to get free. He could feel the milk running down his back.

"EEEEWWWW I can feel the milk running down my back. It feels so gross. AAAAAAAAAHHHHH man this is my favorite outfit to" Kaiba wined.

Mokuba just laughed at the thought of his brother being helpless and how much worse things are going to get. "Oh ha, ha I-I'll let he, he you go" Mokuba cracked up laughing as he opened the door.

Kaiba got thrown out and landed next to a highway. "Where am I?" Kaiba asked not realizing that he was untied. "In Texas" Mokuba turned the jet around and flew away laughing.

"Well first things first, Gotta get myself untied" Kaiba looked down. "Never mind. Next is..." Kaiba dug his hand in his pocked for that shiny penny. "Great I still have my lucky penny. No money would go to waste" Kaiba sighed in relief. He wouldn't know what to do if he lost his penny.

Then Kaiba looked to his right and saw a little trike with a pink basked and ribbons on the handlebars.

"This is meant for three year old" Kaiba got on the trike, even though he would have gone faster if just walk, but then again in this story he's an idiot.

After a while the trike collapsed and Kaiba fell on his ass. Kaiba then walked for a few hours until he was an 18 wheeler logging truck stop next to him.

Inside an overweight, redneck, hillbilly, GAY truck driver eyed Kaiba trying to be sexy. (What scary a thought). "Hey boy, need a riiiiidddeee" The man opened the passenger door.

"Uh-" Kaiba was dragged inside. There were beer cans everywhere. Kaiba had a feeling that he'd need it soon. Then Kaiba looked at the man 'never mind Judging the look he's giving me I don't think I'll get drunk..._ Creepy... I don't know where the beer has been anyway.'_ Kaiba thought.

"So where's you's comin from? Come here often?" the man said in a very, heavy southern accent while picking at his belly button.

"Fuck no, I don't come here often" Kaiba glared at the man next to him. "Damn Skippy it's nice to meet you's, I'm Earl" He extended his old, sweaty, greasy hand expecting that Kaiba was crazy enough to shake it.

"You fucking lard-ass, watch the road" Kaiba yelled. They almost drove into a ditch. "Well that's sure is a funny name" This time keeping an eye on the road.

"You asshole you should know my name. I'm known everywhere. It's Kaiba you know from Kaiba Corporation. I'm famous. How can you not know who I am?" Kaiba was annoyed be the fact that this low life didn't know who he was.

"OOOOOOOHHHHH" Earl took a bite out of his whopper. "So wheres you from?" He didn't know that Kaiba was a Japanese name. "Japan" Kaiba glared expecting Earl to cower in fear, just like all his business accordions did.

Then Kaiba looked at the hamburger and looked like he was gonna puke. Watching an old, fat, hillbilly, gay, truck driver stuff his face with the whopper Kaiba had to roll down the window for some fresh air.

The smell of the geese was getting to him. Also the fact that the sandwich must have been sitting in the truck for a few days.

"Well Howdy! Souse must me one of them Japanese folks. Ain't yous?" Earl was getting excited. "No duh" Kaiba looked a little worried.

"I sure like them Japanese folks. They good looking. Especially the guys in their nice tight clothes that shows off their muscles" Earl grinned at Kaiba. Then Kaiba looked down and he understood what Earl was talking about, and blushed.

He was wearing his black tight pants and his shirt. The only thing missing was his white trench coat. His clothes were naturally tight but the milk made his shirt cling to his skin even more.

"Oh my god you're gay" Kaiba tried to open the door to jump out bit it was locked. "What the fuck? The door is locked; let me out" Kaiba screamed.

"No can do. Deres goin 90 miles per hour on the freeway. Besides yous to cute to let goes. So do yous like games cutey?" Earl eyed Kaiba.

"My name is Kaiba, and you should know, that's if a lowlife like you has ever seen a TV before then you know that I play card games" Kaiba was getting pissed.

"Like strip poker or truth or dare?" Earl said while inching closer and Kaiba moving away. "No fucking way" Kaiba's eyes were the size of dinner plates.

Then things got a lot worse for Kaiba when Earl turned a sharp corner while getting close to Kaiba. So Kaiba flew on top of Earl and WHAM! Their lips collided. Kaiba scrambled over to the passenger seat.

"AAAAHHHHH that was disgusting. Hey get me a beer now" Kaiba didn't care if he was underage or if Earl slipped anything in the beer Kaiba just wanted to forget what Earl tasted like. So Earl Handed him a beer.

15 beers later, Kaiba is completely drunk. He could still remember what Earl tasted like and was still grossed out.

"Well feeling better?" Earl asked.

"Well... I still taste your lips, I remember the kiss, and I'm not drunk enough. So no I'm not okay. Now get me another beer" Kaiba began to hiccup, and slur a little.

Earl got an evil grin on his face. "Well I think you've had enough" Earl turned a sharp corner hoping that Kaiba would land on him again. Then stopped the truck But instead Kaiba flew into Earls fat rolls. Kaiba's head and feet were stocking out at both ends.

Kaiba felt something hard next to him so he turned his head and it looked a lot like a skeleton. Kaiba screamed like a little girl.

In Japan...

Mokuba and the rest of the gang were at the Kaiba dome with thousands of other people watching Kaiba being tortured. There were hidden cameras in the truck.

"Man Mokuba, what are you going to do when Kaiba gets back and try's to kill you?" Yami asked. He's was a little worried.

"Don't worry I got everything planned" Mokuba got an evil look on his face while Yami took a step back. "I wonder what big bro is gonna day when finds out that everything was all planned out?" Mokuba asked himself.

"Damn Mokuba what will you make Earl do next?" Honda asked. "I cant make him do much right now, but it's funny to see Seto stuck in Earls fat rolls so I'll keep him in there for a while. I'll watch and see what Earl does" Mokuba said.

"I hope Kaiba knows that skeleton is face" Anzu looked at the screen. "I think it's fake" Mokuba thought for a moment. "I know it's fake."

"Somehow I don't believe you" Anzu was skeptical.

Back to Kaiba...

After much struggle Kaiba finally got out of the fat rolls. Gasping for air and scrambling to the back of the truck Kaiba laid down in a fetal position. "find a happy place. Find a happy place" Kaiba repeated to himself.

"I know this is my happy place cutie pie" Earl winked at a very terrified Kaiba. Then he walked to Kaiba and put his arm around him. Kaiba shrieked.

Earl just laughed making his fat rolls giggle. "Hell no! Get the fuck away from me" The CEO punched Earl in the face. "Honey don't be like that" Earl wined.

"No I want out. Let me out of here" Kaiba yelled. "But I'm your only way home" He almost gave away Mokuba's plan. "NOOOOOO, no, no, no, no fucking way" Kaiba cried out.

"Wait a minute if I'm here then who's driving the truck?" Earl pondered. "No one"Kaiba yelled as they ran to the front of the truck only to find it already parked. "Oh yeah I parked the truck when you flew into me" Earl finally remembered.

"You dumb-ass" Kaiba muttered. Earl began to drive again.

Kaiba saw his chance to look for a way out. He crawled around quietly. "I got to get out of here or die trying" Kaiba muttered to himself.

First chapter done. You might want to kill me for making Kaiba into a dumb-ass. But he's one of my fav characters. But I just had to do this.

If this story is good there will be a sequel.

Next chapter will hopefully be posted soon if ppl read this


	2. Chapter 2

Yay a new chapter ^^

Remember I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Chapter 2

At the Kaiba dome things are a bit crazy at the moment...

Zigfried Vonshroder came in with his bad haircut. Since Kaiba was gone Zigfried used this opportunity to destroy Kaiba corp while having some fun watching Kaiba suffer.

Mokuba caught Marik and Bakura making out in the back Mokuba ran away when he got a call from someone.

The poor kid was scared for life. Yugi wouldn't come out of the bathroom because of a prank Rebecca pulled on him.

When Yugi came out of the bathroom she dumped a bucket of water on his head. Now his hair is flat and he won't come out until Yami get's him three large bottles if hair gel and a can of hair spray.

It takes a lot of time and effort to make Yugi's hair defy gravity.

Poor Yami. His boyfriend is such a drama queen. Err drama king. And you would think Yugi was the bitch in the relationship. Right? Wrong Yami is the bitch this time.

Honda and Otogi were fighting for Shizuka's heart. So far Tristan and Otogi had a death math consisting of major wedgies and a food fight. But as it turns out Shizuka had her on someone else.

And the lucky guy is …

The fat man on the screen. That's right it's Earl.

Both guys nearly fainted when she told them. The crowd gasped in shock. Kaiba was Earls bitch. For now... Not Shizuka. How on earth could anyone fall in love with a man like Earl?

During the little death match between the lovestruck guys; Otogi didn't notice that Zigfreid was staring at him the whole time.

Poor Roland He has to manage everything while his boss was in hillbilly hell. "Well there goes my paycheck and my job" He said to himself as he walked into the chaos. Little kids were pulling at his pants.

Then Roland felt a cold breeze and liked down. The devil's spawn you call children pulled his pants down revealing a frilly man thong.

In all the chaos Jou was nowhere to be found... He seems to be busy... Wonder what he's up to.

Back in Earls Truck...

Earl was getting suspicious "So my little honey muffin... What ya tryin to do?" Earl asked. Another new nickname for Kaiba.

Kaiba cringed at the nickname. Trying to stay calm he answered "There's nothing for me to do" Kaiba didn't want to blow his cover.

To Kaiba's worst nightmare Earl stopped the truck and grinning at Kaiba. "Well honey kins I can change that" Earl was getting hard. Kaiba was freaking out.

Earl got up and sat very close to Kaiba rubbing his own cock.

Kaiba scooted as far away from earl as possible. earl scoots closer and pulls Kaiba close. "Now I can hold yous close or closer if you like" Earl smiled.

"Kaiba struggled "Let me go."

Earl was unfazed. "Nah I don't feel like it" Then Earl did the unthinkable. He leaned and gave Kaiba a very sloppy kiss. "Kaiba vomited on Earl and Kaiba tried to escape. Kaiba didn't care if he got caught now.

Earl was very turned on. "Man I sure do like my man feisty" Kaiba was bewildered. Kaiba tried to pull the door open in didn't work. He was suppose to push not pull. Even if Kaiba was smart enough to figure that out he still wouldn't be able to get out. Earl was smiling.

"Automatic lock" Earl said as he grabbed Kaiba's ass. "Oh hell no" Kaiba moved away. "Common honey don't be like that. Just accept my love. You know I'm really good" Earl bragged.

Kaiba saw an open window and yelled "RAPE" really loud. Earl was taken back. Kaiba kicked him and Earl fell down so hard the truck shook.

Kaiba climbed out the window and ran. While running Kaiba was so happy Kaiba was skipping and yelling "I'm free, I'm free" As he went into the forest. He was so happy that he didn't notice that his precious penny was gone.

Kaiba dug his hand into his pocket and panicked. He looked everywhere. "NOOOOOO my penny. I lost my penny" Kaiba was bawling his eyes out.

He acted like a little kid that didn't get what he wanted. It must have fallen out of his pocket when Earl tried to rape him.

Then Kaiba got up and looked around still upset and realized that he was completely lost.

At the Kaiba dome...

"Shit Seto got away" Mokuba was freaking out. "Don't worry Mokuba I've got other plans for rich boy. Now go back out there and act like this was all part of your plan" the young man said.

"But what are you planning?" Mokuba asked. "I'm going to call Earl's family. They shouldn't be to far away from Kaiba is at" The man dialed a number as Mokuba walked out.

"Oh by the way Mokuba Earl will find Kaiba. He's got spy's everywhere." The man said. "And Earl said that Kaiba is 7 miles away. Not to far from someone else who can help."

When he got out Mokuba was bombarded with questions. "What happened? Why did Kaiba escape? Man I wanted to see him suffer. I wanted to see him bend over like a bitch and get raped" Pegasuses complained.

"Pegasus you pervert. You of all people wanted to see my brother get raped. That's wrong with you?" Mokuba glared.

"Oh yeah what about the comments you said to your brother. For example " No, no you have a nice body. In fact I think you're HOT!" I bet you have perverted dreams" Pegauses teased Mokuba. "I never said that" Mokuba was pissed.

Pegasus pulled out his video camera and showed him the video of Mokuba saying those words. Mokuba blushed.

"I didn't know what I was saying. I-I... Was caught off guard. Besides someone else likes my brother." Mokuba stammered without thinking.

"Oh, who, who please tell me. Tell, tell. I wanna know. I bet he's like going to be totally hot. Those two better look cute together. Or I will like so break them up. Every couple must look hot" Pegasus jumped up like a school girl.

" First off my brother is single. Second I don't think Seto is gay... But then again... sometimes I wonder" Mokuba said. Pegasus and Zigfreid smirked.

Poor Kaiba everyone in the Kaiba Dome who was paying attention laughed at Kaiba After what Earl tried to do.

Back in the forest...

Kaiba tripped over a root and landed in dog shit while running. "Crap this can't get any worse" Kaiba yelled. "Howdy there... I re-kin that yous don't say that" The young gay man said.

"Why the hell not" Kaiba growled. "Well this here is what yous call hillbilly hell. It always gets worse. But to me this what I call heaven on earth" The man laughed.

"Oh I re-kin you look down" the man was turned on.

"What the... Oh shit there's a hole in my pants the size of a grapefruit in my hot, sexy, tight, skinny jeans in front of my special place" Kaiba didn't realize that he was what he said turned the man on even more.

How did the hole get there you ask? Well here's how it happened. Kaiba was running in the forest and he wasn't watching where he was going and he tripped over a fox den.

The mother was inside. So she attacked Kaiba protecting her young. The female fox aimed for his cock Ripping his pants.

Kaiba got up and ran away. Then the hole got caught on a branch and his pants got ripped even more.

"Well you didn't has to say hot, sexy, tight, skinny jeans because I noticed. Hmmm let's just say that it turns me on" the man said.

"Wah-" Kaiba was shocked.

"Oh yous don't know the majority of the guys here are gay. Sucks to be a strait guy like yous, by the way my name is Billybob" Billybob hugged Kaiba. "Get the fuck off of me" Kaiba pushed Billybob away.

"Awww how cute, and you sure are feisty. I like my men feisty. So what your name handsome?" Billybob stared at Kaiba's cock. Kaiba cringed; that's what earl said. He liked them feisty.

"Not you to. Doesn't anyone know about me. If not they should. You know why? It's because I'm better than everyone on this mother fucking planet. I'm a CEO. It's Kaiba damn-it. Got it?" Kaiba was pissed. No one on Texas Knew of him.

At least that's what he thought. What he didn't know is that everyone knows him. They just pretend not to just to piss Kaiba off.

"Oh my god yous Japanese. I never seen one of them in person before." Billybob was very exited. He jumped for joy.

"And how pretty they are with their tight clothes and lean sexy bodies. Yay I'm getting hot just thing of all things I want to do to you right now." Billybob licked his lips.

"You know what come with me" Billybob picked Kaiba up and threw him over his shoulder. "This al be fun" Billybob began walking.

"Put me down you mother fucker of face the wrath of my brief case" Kaiba struggled but failed. "What's a brief case? I didn't see yous carrying anything" Billybob said.

"Well it's right... Oh shit I lost my briefcase. NOOOOOO, my pride and joy is in there and it's gone. I have nothing, nothing. Kaiba began crying.

"Pride and joy?" Billybob was confused. "Well lets see it then"

"Wait I don't have it on me" Kaiba thought of another plan that was surely to fail. "But I know where it is. I you take me to my brief case I'll show you the wonders inside of it." Kaiba lied.

"Wonders?" Billybob thought aloud. "Is it treasure?"

"Y..Yes treasure that you could only imagine. Just think. It could be anything that you ever wanted" Kaiba smirked.

"Wow anythin I ever wanted" Billybob was entranced. _"Wow now I can have a new pair of overalls. Or a sandwich, or, or a nice shiny penny" _Billybob was more than happy to take Kaiba to that magical brief case full of wonders.

"COOOOOOL! I Wanna go, I wanna go. I'm gonna carry yous there the whole time. Which way" Billybob yelled. "Okay then Mr. Billybob; we have a deal. Now away we go" Kaiba smiled darkly.

"We are heading north west. Catch a plane to Japan and take you to my brief case." This was to easy.

Billybob ran for a while but stopped. He was wearing an earpiece and got a message to keep Kaiba here in Texas. Then to Kaiba's utter despair Billybob turned around and walked in the opposite direction.

"Where are you going? You're heading in the wrong direction" Kaiba hoped that Billybob would stick to the plan.

"Me? O I forgot I gotta introduce you to the family" Billybob explained. He almost gave away his cover. "Oh no need for that... Um... Can't I just-" Kaiba was scared shit less.

"Be your little plaything?" Billybob was getting turned on again. "Oh no need to share me" Kaiba cringed.

"All the more reason you need to me the family you hunk" Billybob giggled as he carried Kaiba further away from the safety of the forest.

"NOOOOOO" Kaiba screamed...


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

At the Kaiba Dome...

Yugi finally got his hair the way he liked it. When he came out of the bathroom and into the arena He was shocked to see of thousands of people looking for Jou. No one knew where he was. Well except one person.

Then he noticed something odd. Zigfried was chasing Otogi around trying to give him a makeover. Apparently Otogi's style was to teenager like for the CEO with his no sense of style.

Shizuka watched Earl on the big screen. Planning to go Texas to meet her crush in person and win him over.

Honda gave up on Shizuka and and found out that he and Otogi had a lot in common and that he liked Otogi. So when he saw Zigfried chasing his soon to be lover Honda kinda overreacted a bit

Honda had a blazing fire in his eyes and took out a bazooka, a few grenades and a 50 caliber shot gun and chased Zigfried. All hell broke loose. Otogi pissed his pants when he saw the pure rage in Honda's eyes.

Anzu was giving one of her friend speeches to a gang. As a result she got rotten tomatoes that happen to magically appear out of nowhere thrown at her.

Pegasus was staring at Zigfried's ass the while time. _"The way his hips sway when he runs makes me want to..."_ His thoughts were interrupted when he felt something wet and smelly run down his back.

He turned around to find Bakura and Marik laughing their asses off. Pegasus looked at his back to see a large urine stain on his expensive suit. Screaming like a girl Pegasus ran to the bathroom.

He opened the bathroom door only to find Yami and Zork "wrestling." Yami looked up. His eyes were the size of dinner plates.

"OMG Yugi" Pegasus called out... No response

"Yugi" Again no response...

"YUGI BOY GET YOUR PANSY ASS HERE NOW" Pegasus was pissed.

Finally Yugi came. When saw his lover with Zork Yugi was nearly ready to kill them both. Pegasus slowly backed away.

"Y...Yugi I...I can explain" Yami was scared shit less.

"Yami..." Yugi started. Then he moved to the shocked couple on the floor. "Don't even try to explain. I can see what you were doing" Yugi pulled a skunk from behind them and threw it at his cheating lover.

Yami and Zork ran out of the bathroom completely naked and screaming like girls. Everyone started taking pictures.

"Heh, heh, heh... Serves that bastard right. No one cheats on me and gets away with it" Yugi picked up Yami's clothes and burned them. Then he replaced them with a bikini.

Mokuba and Jou were in a private room discussing something serious.

"GAAAAAHHHH" Jou screamed. "To tight; cant fit" Jou was exhausted. "Try harder Dammit... Almost there... So close Jou. Just a little more." Mokuba yelled.

Jou was moaning and groaning really loud. "I cant you are so small I don't know how anyone can fit" Jou was about ready to give up.

"Well It's not my fault that you didn't use any lotion to make things slide smoother" Mokuba was getting annoyed. "Lotion is for sissy's and I ain't a sissy" Jou growled.

"Just get it in already I'm loosing my patience" Mokuba was now getting pissed "Or I'll make sure that you can't walk for a long time" Mokuba threatened.

"SHUT UP" Jou cried. "It's so hard... I'm not fitting... It hurts.. AH, ah, ah almost... AHHHHHHH got it" Jou had a hard time walking around.

"It's about time you got those tight skinny jeans on" Mokuba stated. "Well these pants are like 2 sizes to small" Jou complained. "I'm afraid that if I sit down these pants will rip."

"Enough of that. Now let's get serious. I have a question for you. Mokuba does these pants make my ass look to big" Jou posed in front of Mokuba.

"Jou! You shouldn't be worrying about your very tight jeans you should be worried about my brother" Mokuba couldn't believe Jou's behavior today.

"AWWWW but Mokuba I want to look my best, now what pair of shoes should I ear?" Jou was definitely acting weird.

"But Jou we need to get you to Texas to help Earl and Billybob they were expecting you hours ago" Mokuba nagged Jou.

Jou had other things on his mind... And it's not about helping those hillbillies, but helping himself...

As soon as Jou bent over to pick up a pair of shoes all you heard id a RIIIIPPPP. You could see Jou's pink frilly panties. Mokuba busted out laughing.

"What's up with the girlie underwear... Never mind I don't want to know. Anyway don't worry Jou I have another pair of the exact same pants" Mokuba waved the pants in the air. "NOOOOOO" Jou cried.

Mokuba threw Jou in a jet that was set to land in Earl's backyard. Jou didn't have enough time to change.

Earls house...

The house was like a large shack. Poorly built and starting to fall apart. Jou could have sworn that he heard moaning sounds on the other side. He didn't want to find out.

The yard looked a lot like a junk yard. Run down vehicles and trash everywhere. Also the yard had no grass and was surrounded by trees. If anyone called for help no one would be able to hear the cries.

The family expected him to come and invited Jou to hide in the living room forgetting about the giant rip in his pants.

Earl walked in with a big grin on his face. "So... Yous must be Jou." Earl took a seat in a old smelly recliner as rats scurried out from underneath. "Take a seat..."

"Uhhh" Jou looked around. The couch was broken and there was something on the couch that he didn't know what it was exactly. It looked like vomit, and it smelled foul. "I'm fine"

"I hear that yous gonna help me torture that hotty Kaiba" Earl Looked at Jou. "Umm Yeah" Jou felt uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"Ya know; yous kinda cute to" Earl looked down. "I sure do like them pink panties" Earl was getting hot. "Japanese folks sure are good lookin"

All color drained from Jou's face. "I'm not the one your suppose to torture"

"So what do you want me to do to Kaiba?" Earl asked.

"Kaiba's always callin me dog names. Like mutt, and a barking chiwawa. Does that give you any ideas?" Jou grimaced at those memories.

"Oh yeah. I think I have something in the back" Earl pondered. "What do you have planned?" Jou asked. "Yall find out in a bit" Earl smiled. Then they both heard loud cries that could only come from Kaiba.

Earl got up and entered the kitchen. Grabbed a greasy stake, sat down and began to eat. Billybob dragged Kaiba by his feet into the house. Earl looks up.

"Baby what are yous doin with my son?" Earl stood up and Kaiba shrunk back. "NOOOOO not you. I thought I got away from you?" Kaiba cried out.

"Pa? This hotty is your boyfriend?" Billybob stared at Kaiba. Earl nodded his head. "No... Yous cheatn on my pa. That's it were through" Billybob was pissed.

"Wait a minute I was never dating your father, and we were not dating" Kaiba growled. "Don't worry cutey I ain't mad at yous" Earl smirked.

"Youse gonna get punished. My little furry" Earl dragged Kaiba into one of the hellholes you called a bedroom. Billybob stared at the closed door as he heard Kaiba scream. "No, no I don't wanna be a furry"

Minutes later Earl dragged Kaiba out of the bedroom and into the yard. Kaiba was dressed in a brown dog suit. The dogs looked up and spotted Kaiba and ran toward him. Kaiba didn't notice.

"Run" Earl said lazily.

"What" Kaiba had a hard time hearing.

"Run" earl spoke louder as the dogs were getting closer.

"What" Kaiba is an idiot.

RUN BITCH RUN" Billybob and Earl yelled at Kaiba

Kaiba turned around and saw a pack of dogs running towards him. Kaiba ran towards the forest.

"After him. Don't let my furry get away" Earl laughed. "Did you see that Jou?"

"That was AWESOME!" Jou squealed. "Finally Rich boy's a dog for once" Jou looked in the direction that Kaiba ran off to.

"just what yous mean by that? Are yous usually Kaiba's bitch or somethin?" Earl was getting hard from the perverted thoughts running through his mind.

"No fucking way. I would never be Kaiba's bitch" Jou blushed. "Sure yous don't... Then why are yous blushing?" Earl asked.

"I'm not blushing" Jou growled turning even redder. "You're just in denial. I bet yous want to be Kaiba's bitch all the time" Billybob laughed.

Jou was about to say something but they heard a scream coming from the forest. The three man ran to the source of the screaming to find Kaiba on the ground with seven dogs trying to hump him.

"Looks like them dogs are in heat" Billybob laughed. "Serves you right for cheating on my pa." Kaiba didn't notice Jou until he heard Jou laughing at him.

"Look whose the bitch now" Jou smirked. Kaiba looked up. "I'm going to kill you mutt" Kaiba tried to glare at Jou. But with seven dogs humping him made him look silly. Jou laughed even harder.

After a while the dogs got tired of Kaiba and left. "Oh my... Your costume is filled with holes... And no clothes on underneath... Oh I'm getting hot" Billybob had to step back.

"Now, now son he's mine" Earl looked sternly at Billybob."But yous can have him when I'm done" Earl smiled. "Just like his pa."

Kaiba didn't know what to do it was dark out. He couldn't run away without getting lost. He couldn't stay here knowing that He would get raped. He was screwed either way.

Jou looked as the senerio played out in front of him. _"I'll admit Kaiba does look good in a god suit" _Jou thought. _"No, no don't get these thoughts. He's my enemy"_ Jou thought as he looked up.

Earl was whispering something into his son's ear. It must have been funny because Billybob was giggling.

Earl shoved his fat greasy hand into his pocket. "Honey. I have somethin that is yours"

Kaiba ran to Earl. "What, what is it tell me."

Earl pulled out a shiny penny. "I think yous dropped this" Kaiba's eyes lit up. _"My penny. So close and yet so far" _Kaiba stared at the penny.

"My penny... Give it give it. It's mine" Kaiba whined. "If yous want it yous gotta come and get me" Earl teased Kaiba.

Kaiba ran towards Earl and tried to grab the penny from him, but Earl pulled his hand up so Kaiba couldn't reach. Then he lowered the penny and Kaiba jumped for it again, but failed to get the penny.

Earl just loved the way Kaiba was jumping for a penny. He also got a good view of his little furry. He wasn't the only one enjoying the view.

Back at the Kaiba dome...

Everyone calmed down as it got later. Yugi was still pissed at Yami. Zork and Yami still smelled like skunk. Yami tried to apologize to Yugi a million times. None which worked.

Otogi developed feelings for Zigfreid. Honda was jealous and plotting Zigfreid's demise. Shizuka was dreaming of Earl. Mokuba and Rebecca were sitting next to each other.

Anzu was buried under a pile of rotten tomatoes. Pegasus was plotting Otogi's end. He wanted Zigfried for himself.

None of them noticed except for Mokuba that Jou was nowhere to be found.

Everyone else in the Kaiba Dome still awake voting for what what will happen next, including the gang. The results would be posted the next day...


	4. Chapter 4

Yay new chapter ^^

I know it's been a while but I've been busy.

I edited all of my chapters fixing the mistakes and adding some scenes...

Oh and before I forget I forget I'm working on another fic. I'll post it soon... It's Kaiba and Jou in the Victorian era... Well lets just say that it's Jou's turn to be made fun of...

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or the songs "Better Than Me" My Hinder and "Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy me" (forgot who it's by), and I'm blue by Eiffel 65 that's mentioned in this chapter in this chapter. I only own this story plot...

Now on with the story...

It was morning and Kaiba was till trying to get the penny from Earl. No such luck. Earl fell asleep standing up long time ago. Even then Kaiba couldn't get it.

"_I can't believe it. Even when this bastard is sleeping I still can't get MY penny... How on earth can I get it now? With this fat gut in the way there's no way I can get my beloved penny... _

_Sure some people would say that "It's just a penny" but it's my penny. I mean I love this penny. Such a shiny penny; and it's in the greasy, sweaty iron grip that belonged to Earl.. I love it more than my brother."_

Kaiba thought forgetting that Jou and Billybob weren't to far away. Kaiba looked to his side when he heard Earl begin to stir...

"_It's now or never"_ Kaiba forced a sweet loving smile on his face. "Hey Earl..." Kaiba stepped closer trying to ignore the fowl smell. "Please give me my penny" Kaiba touch Earl's arm which contained the penny.

"Well... I don't know; depends what you're willing to do for it" Earl had a wicked grin appear on his face. "Anything, I just want my precious penny back" Kaiba pleaded.

"Anything?" Earl stood up.

"Anything" Kaiba stepped back.

"Good" Earl rubbed his erection.

Kaiba's eyes were huge. Kaiba fell back in fear of what would happen next. To think Jou and Billybob were still sleeping and they didn't seem to notice that anything was wrong.

Then Ear's cell phone rang. Earl was beyond pissed. "Gotta go, Just when things were gonna get good" Earl stormed off deep into the woods.

"_Finally I can get out of here. Wait the penny I can't leave without the penny"_ Kaiba looked for a way out. Just as Kaiba was about to run that's when Jou and Billybob decided to wake up.

"NOOOOOOO! MY penny I have to get my penny" Kaiba cried as Jou and Billybob dragged Kaiba away.

Earl kept walking deeper into the woods until he was certain that Kaiba couldn't hear anything. He didn't need to look at the ID because he already knew who was calling him. A very pissed off Mokuba.

"_To think that this cute, innocent child could ever make me cry the sad thing is that he did!" _Earl sniffled and shed a single tear at the memory. Remembering that the phone was still ringing he answered. Which he probably shouldn't have done.

"What the hell Earl? You know better than to try to rape Seto! I paid you to torture him not have Seto be your little sex toy." Mokuba yelled. Earl gulped as he fell to the ground.

"Next time you try to pull a stunt like that I'll hire someone to torture you. I'll make sure that you cry like a little bitch that you really are." Mokuba was seething. "I-I wasn't gonna rape em I was just gonna have a lil fun" Earl lied.

"Besides you can't rape Seto because that's Jou's job" Earl had an eerie feeling that Mokuba had an evil grin on his face. Mokuba began to laugh like a maniac.

"Aww but why does Jou get to have that sexy boy toy I wanna have fun to" Earl whined. "Because Everyone knows that Jou likes my big brother. He just won't admit it. Everyone voted So here's what I want you to do" Mokuba started

Mokuba and earl talked on the phone phone for hours. He figured that Jou moved Kaiba back to the house. Earl had a feeling that something is going to happen.

When he reached his front door he listened to the shouts coming from inside. "NOOOOOO" Earl was pretty sure that was Kaiba yelling. "I gotta get that penny. Let me go" He heard Kaiba scream followed by a loud thud then a muffled cry. He took it as his Que to make his entrance.

As soon as Earl opened the door everything was silent. Kaiba was dressed like a french maid and was being held down by Jou and Billybob. " My, my you do do look fine" Earl winked which made Kaiba shiver.

"But you know that you don't need to dress up just to impress me" Earl said seductively as he step towards the tangled boys.

"Oh hell no I'd never try to impress a heartless bastard like you Now give me back my penny or else" Kaiba screamed as he tried to get out of Jou's and Billybob's grasp but failed.

"Like what?" Earl asked with a smug look on his face. "Looks to me yous can't do anythin in that sexy position" Earl smiled. Kaiba kept his mouth shout as he couldn't think of a good threat.

Earl decided to be mean and asked "So what have you boys been doin since I've been gone?" He asked.

Then an evil grin appeared on his face. "Looks like you've been havin a threesome with my man" Earl took another step forward.

"Boy I'm getting sick n tired of you cheaten on me" He looked pissed. _"He, he this should be good. Lets see him try to get out of this" _Earl thought.

Billybob stood up "Pop what do you mean by your man? He's mine" Billybob was now in front of his dad.

"Kaiba doesn't belong to either you cause be belongs to me" Earl and Billybob looked over at Jou. "Well, well, well the Blondie over here finally decides to play with the big boys now" Earl taunted. "Oh no you didn't" Jou said as he puts his hand up and stands in a weird pose.

Kaiba seemed to be forgotten about as the two hillbillies and Jou argued. Apparently Kaiba didn't hear what Jou said. Then again Kaiba is really stupid in this story.

"Hey don't I get a say in this" Kaiba tried to get up only to realize that Jou tied him up. "Shut up Kaiba" they all yelled.

"You know what I just thought of somethin" Earl changed the subject. With his old, sweaty, greasy hand he pulled out Kaiba's penny.

Kaiba perked up as he saw the penny. "See this Kaiba. See it?" Earl waved the penny as Kaiba tried to get closer the him.

"Okay boy if you want it bark like a bitch. Come on boy bark. It's about time I taught you some new tricks" Earl taunted.

As expected Kaiba barked like a mad man squirming trying to get closer and untying himself at the same time.

Just as Kaiba untied himself Earl raised his hand so the penny would be out of reach and ran out the front door and went to the back your while everyone followed.

When They finally caught up with Earl Kaiba nearly had a heart attack when he saw what was in the yard.

In the cage there were at least ten porcupines at the front and on the other side there was a pool filled with blue dye that matched the color of his eyes. Kaiba had a bad feeling.

"Hey sexy" Earl smirked at Kaiba's outfit. "Since you want your penny so badly I'll give it to you" Kaiba paled as he knew what was going to happen next.

"See this cage? You gotta get past these porcupines then jump in this pool and find the penny which is at the bottom then run all the way back" Earl explained. "Oh and one more thing You gotta do this in just your frilly panties" Earl laughed.

Kaiba looked like he was about to cry. When he was stripped down in just his panties he ran towards the cage. All the porcupines turned around and aimed towards Kaiba and shot hundreds of quills at him.

Even though Kaiba was crying and looked like a human pin cushion he kept running and jumped in the pool.

When Kaiba returned to the surface for air he was blue. Then he dived back in. Finally he felt something with his foot and dived down to pick up the object.

It was the penny Kaiba was so happy he was finally reunited with his one true love. He got out of the pool and stumbled through the porcupines and help the penny in triumph.

Then Kaiba noticed that something wasn't right with his penny and took a closer look only to realize that this penny was not his penny.

"No, no this... can't... be... This isn't my penny. It's a fake. Where is my penny" Kaiba began to cry. "All that for nothing" Kaiba fell down in defeat. "I bet you feel pretty blue right about now" Jou snickered at Kaiba as he pulled out a stereo and played a song called "I'm Blue" by Eiffel 65. "Heres your new theme song."

Kaiba didn't realize this until he looked at his hands and they were in fact blue. A very dark blue. "What the hell? I... I... I'm blue! Now no one is going to take me seriously!" Kaiba shrieked. "Don't be upset Kaiba at least it's your favorite color. Jou ran as Kaiba chased after him.

Earl just looked at the scene in front of him. Deciding that if he didn't stop those two Kaiba would kill him. "You're right that is not your penny. You'd think that I'd give back your penny this easily?" Earl mocked Kaiba as he held the real penny.

"But if yous really want this penny back then y'all have to do is strip dance to a song called Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy Me and use me as the pole" Earl began to harden at the thought.

"_Damn only I were the pole"_ Jou and Billybob both thought. Jou's face was turning a bright shade of red. Even though Kaiba was blue in Jou's eyes he was still dead sexy. Sad thing is that so does Earl.

"I bet yous feel pretty blue at the moment" Billybob laughed while Jou stared at the now blue CEO.

"All Kaiba could see was red. "You know what since you made that little comment you will never get to see the magical wonders of my super awesome brief case" Kaiba yelled.

"No you promised you'd let me see what was inside if I got you outta here and back home. No come back" Billybob ran up to Kaiba and grabbed his blue ankles. "Please let me see what's inside" Billybob begged. "No" Kaiba fell down.

"So... What's that about Kaiba letting you see what's in that brief case if you got him out of here and back home?" Earl stepped in front of Kaiba.

At the Kaiba Dome...

Things weren't any better for Yami. Yugi was still pissed at Yami for cheating him with Zork. Yami was getting desperate. He wanted his lover back he felt so lonely. We was willing to do anything at this point.

So Yami walked over to the stage clad in bikini with a microphone in hand and began to sing Better than me by Hinder.

Apparently his singing was really bad that some people described his singing sounded like he was drunk while others said that he sounded like he was dieing. That's what Yugi thought when he ran up to his lover to see if he was okay.

"Yami" Yugi yelled. "You can stop singing now I thought you were dieing because of how bad you sound" Yugi hugged his bitch.

"Yugi... You came back... Does that you forgive me?" Yami cried. "Well... Since you humiliated yourself in front of thousands of people I'll forgive you" Yugi smiled.

"But promise me one thing" Yugi got serious. "Yes" Yami was terrified. "Don't ever cheat on me again or you'll know what true fear really is" Yami cowered as Yugi yelled.

"Also don't ever sing again. Do you know how bad you sound. You were off key and you didn't even hit the right notes. I mean seriously you sucked" Yugi rambled on and on While Yami began to cry.

Shizuka had convinced Zeigfreid to help her to get to Texas to get her man. The love of her life Earl.

As long as she helped Earl to torture Kaiba he'd give her a ride. Shizuka was on a mission and nothing was going to get in her way.

While that was going on Mokuba and Rebecca were hanging out. Each time he tried to ask her out something always got in the way.

For example when they were finally alone on top of the Kaiba Dome beneath the stars. Right when he was going to ask her out they heard moaning and groaning.

When they looked over they saw Ryou and Bakura having sex about 50 feet away from them. Let's just say that it killed the romantic mood.

Everyone else was wondering what was going to happen next. What is Earl going to do with Kaiba and Billybob? How long will it take for the blue dye to wear off? Will Kaiba ever figure out that Jou likes him? Well find out sooner or later..

So many questions but no answers at the moment...

If anyone has any ideas let me know plz!

I'll try to update soon so in the mean time Review!


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